Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
