Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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