My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
