More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
My first STD was from a foam party
i think i have two assholes
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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