ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I wish you could order shots online.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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