It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
