need another drink. this is the easiest way
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Did I show you my penis last night?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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