so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
