remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Watching her eat just hurts me
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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