So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
