Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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