I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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