Nicole vs. Life
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
