In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
