I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
