Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
