Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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