think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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