I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
