she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
