You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
