Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
