Kiss
Puke
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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