Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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