She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
