Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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