fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
