i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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