can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
