I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
