is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
