What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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