he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
