fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm like, not good at living.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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