I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
