It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
