I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
