I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
