We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Randomize
