I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
