hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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