i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
