I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
