Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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