well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
