Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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