used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
