You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
