If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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