I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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